Can Men & Women Really Be Just Friends?
Wed, Sep 29, 2010
So there’s an age-old question with the world of sex and dating: can men and women really be friends? At long last someone (that would be me) finally gives a definitive answer. And that answer is no.
Sure they can hang out and do the same things that all friends do, but the friendship will never be like same-sex friends. Now you might be saying to your computer screen right now, “Screw you, tool. I have plenty of opposite sex friends!” Take a deep breath, count to three, and allow me to explain.
You see, as crude as it sounds, human beings essentially are just animals. If you smelled the inside of the bunkroom at my firehouse you’d see what I’m talking about. In the animal kingdom males and females of all species socialize for the purpose of mating or breeding. They don’t just hang around with each other for the fun of it. Are we so arrogant to think that we’re the sole species on earth that are exempt just because we walk upright? I think not.
Need further convincing? Webster’s Dictionary defines friends as “people you know well and regard with affection and trust”. My personal dictionary defines a friend as “someone you hang with, but don’t try to, want to, thought about, or actually had sex with”. Can you say that about every one of your opposite sex “friends”? Whether they’re single, taken, or someone you grew up with, you’ve thought about it, even if just for an instant.
You might be saying, “Oh yeah? I see Willie the UPS man every day at the office. We’re friends, and I don’t want to hook up with him. So there, fucker!” The reason for that is because Willie isn’t your friend; he’s an acquaintance. Webster’s defines an acquaintance as “a person whom one knows but is not a particularly close friend”. If you became “friends” with Willie, then things might be different. And trust me, Willie wants to nail you anyway.
This thing doesn’t have to be two-sided either. For example, if a girl in a friendship has feelings for her guy-pal then they aren’t true “friends” even if he never felt the way she does. It only takes one, not both.
Now I will concede that the one who usually blows it is the guy. Men will develop feelings in a friendship far more often than women. Again, this goes back to men’s animalistic need to breed. Hell, guys will even have hook-up feelings for acquaintances. If Willie was Suzy the UPS girl, the men in the office would think, “Damn Suzy sure looks hot in brown!”
I’m still full of shit, you say? Well then take the ultimate test. Pick one of your opposite sex “friends”. If one of you would welcome a kiss from the other, you aren’t TRUE friends. Think about it, girls. Do you really have one guy-friend who wouldn’t act on it if you were to kiss him? Even if he says, “But we’re friends…”, I guarantee you could persuade him.
My brother Billy and his wife Carie are perfect examples. In college, they were friends for four years before they hooked up. Billy became friends with Carie because he was trying to nail her roommate (keep that between us, by the way). Then one night at a party I saw them both making out. It was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen — and I’ve seen some pretty crazy shit. It wasn’t a friendship that blossomed into a relationship; it was just two people who were attracted to each other but just didn’t act on it for whatever reason.
In asking them today, they both tell me that even though they were just “friends” for years, they had thoughts of hooking up the entire time. Of course this comes as no surprise to me and it shouldn’t to you either. Just watch “When Harry Met Sally.” Hollywood may lie, but a million years of human evolution doesn’t.
You’re full of shit. Going by your definition of “friends” instead of the REAL definition to prove this point is like saying that the Earth is flat just because I say so.