Here is ten things it’s safe to say no guy wants to here. Basically these are things not to say to guys from a guys perspective. Of course there is some different circumstances where these can be productive.
1. “I’m friends with all of my ex-boyfriends.”
That’s great. Maybe we can invite one of them out with us on Friday. Yeah, right. On one hand, guys want to be happy with this statement. After all, it’s comforting to know that when you decide you’re done with us, we can still have cappuccinos together occasionally. On the other hand, unless we are 100 percent sure of ourselves, most guys perceive another male as a threat, especially if at one time he was good enough to win you over. And what is with the “all of my ex-boyfriends”? Like, are we just going to be another in a long chain of leave-behinds?
2. “All my friends are guys”
Of course you can find a ton of guy friends, your hot and they like having options if the moon happens to align just right. Not too mention if helps their stock with other women to have a friends that are girls unfortunately it lowers your stock and tells the guy that you are not willing to share the limelight of life with other girls, AKA your self absorbed.
3. “You never bring me flowers/call me anymore/[fill in the blank].”
That’s because we don’t have to anymore! Don’t you get it? We use up about every ounce of creativity and romance we have during those first few weeks to win you over. Call it courtship, call it scamming, call it whatever; just be sure to call it temporary because there’s no way we can keep it going for the life of our relationship. We have to act like Romeo to win your heart, but once we start feeling a little more secure that you’ll like us for who we are (and not for what we bring you), we let our guard down. That’s why when we hear you say, “You never buy me chocolates anymore,” or whatever, we worry that what you’re really saying is you liked the courtship (and the chocolates) more than you like us. P.S. don’t worry, we will still will do these things. It will just be less often yet the positive side is they will mean even more.
4.”I tell my best friend everything.”
And she tells her second-best friend, and she tells her lab partner, who tells her brother, and next thing we know we’re being harassed in the locker room for getting teary-eyed while watching Jerry Maguire. Look, most girls are about as good at keeping secrets as guys are. And that’s not a good thing. Trust us. There has to be some sacred ground on which we can tread in this relationship, meaning we can feel safe knowing that how we act around you won’t be analyzed play-by-play at the next BBQ.
5. “I really think your little tummy bulge is cute.”
Just because there aren’t a zillion magazines out there telling guys how to get great bods doesn’t mean that we don’t care about our physical appearance. We just don’t stress over like women do, after all stressing will only make your less healthy and in worse shape. The problem is we know when we are not in great shape, what we need is someone to tell us how great we look and hoe strong we are, not how cute our pot belly is. Basically find what things you like on our body and focus on those for compliments.
6. “That celebrity/rock star/popular guy is such a babe.”
While most guys like a little competition every now and then, competing with a guy who actually got to play Romeo on the big screen or is a icon in what you are passionate about is a losing proposition for us. And even though we think saying “Lindsay Lohan is hot” is a pretty harmless statement on our part. We know we probably can’t get her, yet these guys probably hook up all the time with random girls and we don’t want to imagine our girlfriend as a drive by hook up. Probably follow any comments about how hot a guy is with but he is probably a douche bag, we will secretly thank you for it.
7. “Do you think she’s pretty?”
Guys have learned that there is no correct response to questions regarding other girls. I mean, you lose no matter how you reply. Case in point: We say: “Yeah, she’s a babe.” You say: “I hate you.” If we say, “She’s OK, but you’re much prettier,” you say, “You’re lying.” Get my point? Not even taking the Fifth will help on this one. If the world were a perfect place, you could say “Usher is a babe” all you wanted to, and we could say “Hilary Duff is hot” all we wanted to. But our world is far from perfect.
8. “I just want to be friends”
This is the most obvious one, but had to be said. I just read a quote the other day I liked about this, it went something like this “Ladies, stop asking where all the nice guys are. They are right where you left them, in the friend zone”.
9. “How many girls have you been with”
Now-a-days everyone has a safe number, but really no one wants to lie. The point is, it shouldn’t matter if it was three or thirty. We are with you now and you are the last one we even want to be with.
10. “I kind of like you”
Men are men and like to treated like a warrior, that what we have been for thousands of years. To tell someone they are kind of o.k. is like telling them you might win that fight or you can get lucky and be a real man. If you are not sure if you like a guy then just hold off with expressing your feelings until you are sure how you feel.